Cereal Killer

I think I've been watching too much TV during the day.  I have noticed something that has taken me over 30 years to actually ponder.  How do advertisers for kids cereal decide if their "pitchman" will be good or bad?  Think about it...  The Trix Rabbit isn't allowed to have Trix-EVER.  Those kids will blow him up before letting him taste their cereal.  Selfish little brats. What's the harm in sharing a little with the poor bunny?  Cookie Crisp has a crook that's always trying to steal the cookies, while Cap'n Crunch is bringing a variety of crunchiness to the kids (after he turns them into pirates-aaarrrggg).  Barney is always coming up with a way to steal Fred's Pebbles, be they chocolate or fruity.  The one I can't figure out is Lucky from Lucky Charms.  The kids can't ever catch him, but they still get the cereal?  Why do they care about the Leprechaun after they get the cereal?  Speaking of Lucky, how many freaking charms can they fit in that cereal, anyway!  Sheesh-why don't they just make it a marshmallow cereal and throw out the few pieces of actual "whole grain" cereal?  Toucan Sam leads the kids to Fruit Loops with his beak, but is he allowed to eat it?  Then we have the pitchmen who just try to convince the kids that their cereal is the best.  We never really know if they eat it themselves.  Perhaps in their trailers after shooting the commercial, they sit down with a nice big bowl of cereal.  Or maybe they go out for steak and lobster (they are famous, after all).  Tony the Tiger teaches the kids that if they want to go out and play sports and kicks the butts of the other team (with great sportsmanship, of course) they need to eat a heaping bowl of sugar-covered corn flakes.  Wouldn't oatmeal be just as good, maybe even better?  Apple Jacks now has the little Jamaican Cinnamon Stick and the Apple that fight over who is better.  Have you ever tasted those?  I don't recall ever tasting apples or cinnamon.  In fact, wasn't that one of their commercials a few years ago?  Kids don't care that they don't taste like apples, they just love them!  I do think that the best cereal commercial out there is the one for Corn Pops.  You know the one?  With the giant mouth attacking the Corn Pop "citizens" in their little city?  Complete with subtitles and everything-awesome!  Now that's some good advertising.  Every time I see it, I want to run out and buy some Pops.  Like the mouth says: "Gotta have my Pops..."!